Tag Archives: Motivation

Losing concentration, losing motivation, losing ground…

So, I haven’t written in a long time. I have sat down to write about a hundred times in the last couple of months… but this strange anxiety has kept me from clicking on the link to WordPress. I’ve definitely had this problem before… and too much time passes and I lose momentum. And then I lose inspiration. And then the doubt sets in.

I don’t know what it will take for me to work my ass off at this. I do know that my head is full. And I KNOW that getting so many of these thoughts out is useful to me… (and hopefully useful to others). But fear is a motherfucker. And though it may not always seem like it, I’m gripped with fear quite often.

But I talked to a wonderful friend of mine last night. She also has a blog and has been writing more lately. She mentioned that she checks my blog often and has noticed a lack of new work. I felt embarrassed. I felt frustrated. I felt like a fraud. Not like I’m calling myself a writer by any stretch… but this is something I want and something I love and I’m letting it fall to the wayside.

Chrissy said that she’s setting aside time every day to write… a piece of advice I had received from another dear friend (also a writer) a while back. It’s not always going to be great work, but it creates the habit. Which is what I need. Hearing this feedback and advice to my face last night definitely sparked something. And that’s why I’m here today. And will hopefully be here more often.

As I’ve said before, I am not going to make any promises. I will be making more of an effort for now… and I plan to expand my writing into fiction (yeah, you won’t be seeing any of that any time soon). Some stuff will be published here while some may be tucked away for other projects. But over the next couple of weeks, I’m hoping to nail down a writing schedule that works for me… and actually stick to it.

Blog song title: “Let’s Talk Turkey” by Ima Robot

Now I’m looking to the sky to save me… looking for a sign of life…

I had this grand plan to write about each city I visit before I moved on to the next one.  It was adorable as a plan in my mind… but as I’ve learned on this trip, plans are useless.

I have been keeping a travel log – writing observations as they come. But I really don’t think I can adequately reflect on this experience until it has ended. For those who care about this sort of thing… I started in Berlin and had an unexpectedly amazing time. While there, I planned out the rest of my trip – Amsterdam to Paris to Edinburgh to Manchester to Birmingham to London to home. Amsterdam and Paris have been somewhat underwhelming… but after the raucous time in Berlin, I guess that is to be expected.

I’m looking forward to Edinburgh and England (though I don’t think I’m going to stop off in Manchester and Birmingham anymore). I’m going to spend some quality time in both places in hopes of standing still long enough to do more reflecting. The rest of the trip is about me just existing for a while. I’m still glad to be getting some space from my life in NY. I only realized when I was here how much I needed a break.

I’ve been discussing my travel plans and motivations with others (as is fairly typical when you’re staying in a hostel, surrounded by travelers from around the world) and my story is ever changing. I started this journey in January with the plan to go see Europe, finally. I had different motivations back then. Once I booked my trip my motivations changed. And as my departure date grew closer, my motivations changed yet again. And now that I’m in the middle of it all… my inspiration and what I’m gaining is changing every day.

Which is why I can’t sufficiently write about my experience… not just yet. But stay tuned. This is something I’m going to need some time to do.

Blog song title: “Learn to Fly” by the Foo Fighters

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