I know that lately my writing has not been very… soulful. I’ve been told by a couple of people that my writing is best when I am as transparent as I can be. And I’ve been holding back.
I’m not really afraid of being personal here. Of course, I worry about offending friends and others by including them in my writing. But I don’t like to hold back my thoughts. If you know me in person, you know that I’m always like this. If I have something to say, I say it.
Unfortunately, I have some doubters in my midst. Some aren’t taking my writing seriously. Some think that my travel plans are just an excuse to take a vacation. Some don’t believe that I’m actually going to go on this trip. And I will say… this really hurts. I have mentioned before how important it is to me to be understood. And it’s painful when I’m misunderstood… or underestimated.
But I’m just stubborn enough to let this doubt push me even harder. Get ready for some fucking transparent writing. In the last few months I had my heart broken, I considered every job imaginable, I decided to start therapy, I begged old friends for money, I got hit on by a 20 year old and totally flirted back, I went out on a date for the first time in months (not with the 20 year old), I took boudoir style photos for my photographer roommate, and I haven’t written about any of it.
I’m going to write. I’m going to travel. I’m going to pursue. I’m going to persist. I’m going to prove you wrong.
Blog song title: “I’ve Gotta Be Me” by Sammy Davis Jr.