I made a wonderful discovery this past weekend.
It started with happy hour. When you get more than a couple of (straight) girls together at a bar, the conversation predictably follows a couple of paths: men or celebrities (or faux celebrities). Perhaps this comes from not having much to talk about, or maybe it’s just a matter of keeping the conversation light as the bar is loud and it’s the end of the week and it’s just more fun.
So there we were, listening to bland pop music over our expensive craft beers and discussing the finer points of Taylor Swift’s dating life. Inevitably, the conversation became a critique of her looks. As a couple of us commented on how unremarkable her face is, one friend said she would be ok with looking like her. Then came the obligatory “if I could look like any celebrity” game… as names were traded around the table, I made my landmark discovery: the only person in the world that I want to look like is… ME.
For the first time in my life, I’m truly comfortable in my skin. Is this the best I’ve ever looked? Probably not… I’m sure I was skinnier 10 years ago… I didn’t have those fine lines around my eyes… and I didn’t have that errant gray hair (ok, hairs). But this is the best I’ve ever felt about my appearance. I don’t know if this is something that just happens as you get older or if it’s just that my life has changed so drastically in the past year… but I think I look pretty fucking great.
I spent the better part of my 20s in some sort of existential crisis or another. What do I want to do for a living? Where do I want to live? Who should I love? What do I want? And pop culture taught me that the answers to those questions would magically be answered by the age of 30 and that I would be a well-adjusted, confident woman. And while I’m still working on most of those questions, I feel like I’m becoming that well-adjusted, confident woman. In true late bloomer fashion, it has taken me until the age of 33 (and a half… I turn 34 in just about 6 months) to really love who I am, inside and out. Everything else, as far as I’m concerned, will just fall into place… or not… it doesn’t really matter. I’m a happy lady these days. And a smokin’ hot one at that.
Blog song title: “I’m a Lady” by Santogold