A child is born, crying out for attention…

I don’t want to have kids. (Please also see the previous post).

This has been a somewhat controversial opinion my whole life. But I have never wanted kids. And I’ve heard it all…”when you meet the right person, you’ll change your mind” – well, no… I’ve dated some pretty amazing guys and still didn’t want to have kids… “you’ll change your mind when you get older” – ok, I’m 33… if I know without a doubt that I don’t want kids now, I really don’t think I will suddenly change my mind any time soon.



And you should hear the responses that come around when I make this position known. Pity seems to be number one. I never said I wanted kids and couldn’t have them… I said I didn’t want them. It’s a choice. A choice I’m convinced more people should make. I do think too many people have kids because they think they should… but I digress…

I can’t say that it’s one single thing that has brought me to this decision. I just know that it’s never been in me… I’ve never had the desire. I don’t look at babies and feel my uterus skip a beat. In fact, most times, I think how inconvenient it must be to have a small and dependent human being in your house (not to mention your body… GROSS). I love my nieces and nephews… and I adore my friends’ kids (though I’m not terribly broken up that I moved thousands of miles away from most of them- the kids, not the friends)… but the best part about all of them is that at the end of the day, I get to go home… where the most inconvenient thing is my dog (and he’s pretty damn easy).

The crying, the messes, the pooping… yeah, that stuff sucks… but what’s scarier? The fact that another human being is dependent on you… forever. As nice and as nurturing as I can be (shut up), the thought of taking care of another person for the rest of my life is the most disturbing thing I can think of (for myself – I don’t begrudge you the desire to spawn).

Clearly (given my last post as well), I’m a bit frustrated with people forcing their opinions on me about my life choices. Not that anyone has necessarily pressured me to have kids… but I feel that people tend to judge me by my choices. You know, it’s actually ok to never want to marry or have kids. It doesn’t make my life any less fulfilling.

I’m ok with my choices… can the rest of the world be ok with them too?

Blog song title: “Kids” by MGMT

About Quincey Trigillo

A little over three years ago, I moved from the confines of Orange County, California to take a bite out of the Big Apple. Every day is an adventure and this is where I will attempt to write about it all. I love sports and Star Wars and Doctor Who and rock music and New York and traveling and being outdoors... and other stuff. View all posts by Quincey Trigillo

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