When I was in high school, I always had a crush on someone. Someone I could daydream about when class was boring. Someone who, when I would see unexpectedly in the halls, would send my heart racing. Someone who would render me speechless if he ever bothered to give me the time of day. Crushes in high school were unattainable -typically older and unequivocally gorgeous. I never wanted to actually date any of my crushes. That would have taken away the fun. Liking someone from afar without actually having to do anything… it’s a no pressure situation. They were consistent… reliable even… and always fun to have.
Crushes are not as common as I get older. Maybe it’s because I’m jaded by failed relationships or by the rigors of dating… or maybe it’s because as I get older I’m more inclined to go after what I want rather than participate such a passive activity as a willingly unrequited crush. That’s why when I do actually get a crush on someone, it’s borderline exhilarating… and typically something I act on.
I’ve had a couple of crushes recently. One is a work crush. I should be grateful to this work crush… because of him I drink a lot of water (he sits near the water cooler). And yes, I blush and get a bit flustered whenever he talks to me. Everyone should have a work crush. It’s silly… and all in good fun. Something to brighten your day when your job sucks.
The other crush threw me for a loop and put me on cloud nine for a while. This was someone I would see pretty much on a weekly basis at the bar where my alumni group watched our football games. I thought he was adorable the first time I saw him but was discouraged from getting my claws in him so as not to make things awkward for the rest of the football season (I was a bit predatory around that time). So it was relegated to a passive crush… I looked forward to seeing him at the games and attempting to flirt with him… and that was it.
But when I had an opportunity to hang out with him outside of our normal parameters, I ended up acting on the crush… and it was awesome. There is a whole lot more to that story… but I’m not sure I want to tell it here. What I will say is that heart racing feeling – that unmistakable crush feeling – never waned when I was with him. It was certainly thrilling… and a nice reminder on how awesome crushes are. Even after high school.
I do love a good crush… it’s fun to be excited about another person… but of course, they don’t call them crushes for nothing… the highs are fantastic, but the lows are… well, crushing. I guess the hope is that the juice is worth the squeeze… even if the juice is only enjoyed for a moment.
Blog title song: “#1 Crush” by Garbage (and yes, I still have a crush on Leonardo DiCaprio)